Brandi Explains it All

F*ckboy in disguise

This post is dedicated to the biggest F*ckboy I know, Steve Brown <3

Every creature plays a vital role in a community.

From the tiny puppy that nips at our heels and serves as a vital companion staving off loneliness

To the large elephant trampling grasslands and making it possible for smaller animals to exist

Everything plays a role.

Even F*ck boys.

Yes, that is right, even the basc F*ck boy plays a vital role in society. F*ck boys often serve as the catalyst for effective change within oneself that makes one suitable to then be an effective partner to someone else and more importantly to love yourself. F*ck boys prey on those who lack self-esteem and have low self-worth. Their emotional abuse is often the cocoon that allows us emerge the confident butterfly we had inside of us all along.

Most of us have dated a F*ck boy or at least had a close friend date one and complain about them to us.

For those completely unaware of a F*ck boy many of us are led to think that they can be identified externally and share similar aesthetics.

A sprinkle of dreadlocks here

A few gold chains there

And some tattoos for good luck

And you’ve got yourself a f*ck boy!

Internally F*ck boys are notorious for cheating on their partner with other women, not complicating the relationship by putting a title on it, and excusing their poor behavior by claiming that his F*ck boy ways are solely the result of YOU. In the F*ck boy world absolutely nothing is their fault. They are innocent and pure and the wealth of baby mamas, restraining orders, and police reports against him simply are indicators that he’s so awesome and pure that the world is hating on him.

Although those features are characteristic of many f*ck boys it is important to note that not every single f*ck boy contains them. Just as every parallelogram is not a square, every f*ck boy does not wear a gold chain (but most do).

I like to call this breed of F*ck boy that does not adhere to some of the physical traits of a f*ck boy “Transformer F*ck boys” as just like their namesake they expertly disguise who they really are and fool most of us. These are the most dangerous of all the f*ck boys. You will think he’s too ugly to cheat and ignore the red flags that he’s banging his baby mama.

I recently had an experience with this type of f*ck boy and want to help you to steer clear of them and to know the red flags when first encountering them so you can save yourself from the embarrassment and pain of dealing with a F*ck boy.

1. He lies from the beginning

When the guy comes out of the gate lying, he might be a F*ckboy.

The initial weeks of a relationship most people send their representative to hopefully woo you. The best version of themselves will be presented. Therefore dishonesty may be presented in an effort to woo you.

But this initial dishonesty serves as a red flag, as this indicates a false confidence that requires outside validation in order to thrive. Because he is not fully confident in who he actually is he feels as if he has to make up a false person to get you to like him.

You will initially fall in love with this loyal, honest, committed soft guy only to find out he’s really a former drug dealer with three kids and a warrant out for his arrest.

2. He gaslights you

Gaslighting is a common tactic utilized by F*ck boys. Healthline defines gaslighting as “A form of emotional abuse that’s seen in abusive relationships. It’s the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity.”

A F*ck boy would rather die than admit any wrongdoing. You could literally walk in on him banging someone else and he’d try to make you into the crazy one for “thinking you saw that”.

3. You think he’s a F*ckboy

Khalil Gibran once said to “trust your inner self”.

Truer words have never been spoken. That gut instinct that you feel is often correct. Save yourself the agony and stress and heed the inner warning you’re being given.

4. He uses feminism to appeal to you

One of the oldest tactics in manipulation is to pretend to have a common ground; and few things are as essential to your being as your gender. I would also argue that your race and culture is also essential and F*ckboys tend to try and appeal to you on those levels as well.

If you remark that you love watching SpongeBob SquarePants and he remarks that he wishes the story focused more on female characters Pearl, Sandy, and Mrs. Puff solely because they are female he might be a fuckboy.

5. He pretends to share the same interests as you

Similar to the prior sign this sign focuses more on a F*ck boys use of lying and manipulation to pretend to like things just as much as you.

See, you did not choose to be black. You did not choose to be a woman. But, you did choose to like dystopian novels, baking, and exercising.. You chose to have those things close to your heart and by pretending that those things are also close to his he is manipulating you into associating things that you love with him thus prioritizing him; and ladies:

So those are some of the red flags I got whilst dating a F*ckboy in disguise. I ignored them, obviously, as we then dated for 6 months on and off.

Have you ever dated a Transformer type F*ck boy? How’d you break free of their reins?

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