Brandi Explains it All

Why we love fuckboys

“Once upon a time, not long ago I was a ho And I’m admitting it I won’t take it back ’cause I did the shit”

So as the lyrics imply I was a ho in my younger days. Yes, despite looking as if I am still “young, dumb, and full of” …pancakes, I am not.

I’m just black; and due to my high concentration of melanin and use of mouisturization (lotion) I manage to look much younger than I am.

How old am I? You ask. Bitch that’s rude! Never ask a lady her age.

But back to the topic, ho-ism, a complicated subject, is best learned through immersal. As I immersed myself in ho-ism (for educational purposes, of course) I noticed a recurring delineation. This delineation was a preference for fuckboys.

Fuckboys are “a man who has many casual sexual partners“ (Urban Dictionary).

This preference for fuckboys is not strictly confined to hoes, however, it appears in significant numbers throughout the entire female demographic . From hoes to ladies. From personal experience I can attest to the fact that this preference continues into complete female maturity despite competing preferences of mature women to settle-down and find a stable partner.

As a former ho I can personally attest to the irresistible attraction of a fuckboy. A fuckboy is a lot like a hot sugary donut.

You know it’s bad for you, but you’ve just got to have it.

So what is it about fuckboys that keeps bringing us in? I’ll tell you below.

He “makes (you) feel good”

Not just in that way, but in regards to your inherent desire for external validation. No matter how amazing a girl looks, she still would like to hear it sometimes. Even if your self esteem is on ten, words of external validation are needed at times.

Thankfully, an inherent trait of fuckboys is to compliment you on your appearance.

Fuckboys are super confident

Have you ever met someone who is not very physically attractive but is so confident and smooth they make you question yourself on whether they are really ugly? They go from this

to this

in the span of a few days. Confidence is sexy; and fuckboys have it pumping through their veins.

Fuckboys tell you what you want to hear

Like Chaka Khan, Ne-yo, Mario and countless others we “don’t wanna know” just “Lie to me” and “Tell me something good”. Lucky for us, we have fuckboys who avoid telling the harsh truth like water avoids oil!

All of your friends will be envious of you

Who wouldn’t want a charismatic, confident charmer on their arm for a night?

Fuckboys will leave you with a set of valuable skills

Most fuckboys are narcissists.

Yes, meme, you are right; not ALL fuckboys, but most. True to narcissism the fuckboy only speaks about topics that interest him. Things like sex, money, music, cars, sports etc.

After spending a substantial amount of time with a fuckboy knowledge of those topics are bound to transfer to you.

For example, I have an extensive knowledge of gangsta rap.

The seed for this knowledge was planted back when I was just a little child in elementary school and I started a hip hop group modeled after Master P (New Orleans, Master P was LORD at the time). ugh We would write verses about fucking bitches, gang life, getting money etc. You know, typical 8 year old stuff.

But by the time I encountered my first fuckboy in High school my love of gangsta rap and expressing stories, thoughts, ideas, etc. through the written word had faded away. My love of gangsta rap and my knowledge of it was rekindled by a fuckboy who constantly played it and talked about it to me.

Through my encounter with a fuckboy I learned many things. Among them was the fact that Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil, and the government is lying about 9/11.

Do you love fuckboys? Are you a fuckboy?!

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